I've been going through a rough patch lately, most likely because my mission is coming up in a little over a month and I'm planning on going through the temple for my endowments some time next week, so the adversary is working really hard to bring me down. I would be an emotional wreck if it weren't for prayer. Right now I'm feeling pretty good, a little bruised but managing extremely well. I won't go into detail about what has happening, but let's just say it is a lot of things from a variety of sources.
My preparation for the temple has really stepped up a lot. I find myself now reading the scriptures and other church texts in my spare time and my prayers are more sincere. Not a lot of people believe that there is a God and that we can communicate with Him and get any form of a response. Well, I am here to state that it is not true. God does hear our prayers and is always with us when times get tough. My friend Nancy who is on her mission at the moment shared with me a letter with a great scripture to understand how the Lord can help everything, and this is exactly how I felt over the past few days. It's found in Mosiah 24:14-15 and it reads:
"14 And I will also ease the burdens which are put upon your shoulders, that even you cannot feel them upon your backs, even while you are in bondage; and this will I do that ye may stand as witness for me hereafter, and that ye may know of a surety that I, the Lord God, do visit my people in their afflictions.
15 And now it came to pass that the burdens which were laid upon Alma and his brethren were made light; yea, the Lord did strengthen them that they could bear up their burdens with ease, and they did submit cheerfully and with patience to all the will of the Lord."
I was feeling really down about myself and my situation. Everything was falling upon my shoulders and I was crying and upset. I knew that these challenges were placed before me for a reason and that if I had to endure it I would, but it really hurt so I knelt by my bed and called upon God. I thanked my Heavenly Father for all that he has given me in my life including my burdens and I knew that this was a test. I told him about the pain I was feeling in my heart and the sadness and I asked him if there was a way to ease my burdens so I could figure out what to do I would be grateful. Immediately it was as if my feelings were lifted and I felt this freedom and peace so I could contemplate my situation. I continued to think through everything and once I decided on a course of action I asked the Lord if what I would do would help the situation and I could feel Him telling me that all would be well with my decision. So I did and it worked. Although now I still feel the hurt it is only very little, like a scar that has healed over. From this experience I know that I can handle anything life throws at me. He listens to our prayers and will do anything to ease our burdens no matter what poor decisions we or others make.
I love that we all have a Heavenly Father who wants the best for us. I love that He will continue to love us just the same even when we do things wrong. I love the Saviour for giving us the atonement so we can repent and turn to Him in our time of need, freeing us of burdens that feel too hard to bear. I promise that if you call upon the Lord with faith in Jesus Christ that you will feel his influence and guidance in your life. I testify that the Book of Mormon is true and that if you read from its pages you will know God and be able to find solutions to your problems in life. The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints is the true church upon the Earth re-established in these latter days under the direction of Jesus Christ and through his holy prophet Joseph Smith. Our current prophet, President Thomas S. Monson is a true prophet of the Lord and has the priesthood keys and authority to help guide and lead this church. He receives modern day revelation and instruction to help guide us in these dark times to find happiness and peace and attain eternal glory in the life to come. I know what I say is true because the Holy Ghost has testified the truth to me and I cannot deny it. The Lord has touched my life in so many ways and the happiness I feel is because I continually strive to do better, follow his commandments and live the gospel of Jesus Christ. Only through Jesus Christ can man be saved in the last days. I cannot wait to be set apart as a missionary for the Lord and be an instrument in his hands in the Auckland, New Zealand mission and all because I know that God lives and loves us all. I leave this testimony with you in the name of our Lord and Saviour, Jesus Christ, Amen.
~ Sister H. Phillips
Monday, May 21, 2012
Thursday, May 3, 2012
The Holy Ghost and Fishing
I recently had a bit of a realisation the other night. I went fishing with a friend of mine, Reuben. He absolutely loves fishing, it's his favourite hobby and I was happy for an invite because I want to do as much as I can before I go on a mission and fishing is a little bit of an adventure for me. I've only been fishing once before in my life and that was when I was like eleven with my Dad. The only thing we caught was the last cast of the day and I pulled in an eel, which was pretty cool but it wasn't a fish.
Anyway, we went fishing on this really pretty beach at night. It's near the Gap and I think it was called Cove Bay or Beach or...something. It's on the back of these amazing properties, the water was crystal clear and they have a view of the city and a partial view of the Harbour Bridge. It was overcast but still very pretty.
As I was there fishing and looking out over the water I realised that fishing is a lot like the Holy Ghost and here is how I worked it out. I was standing in the water, not very deep and my line was somewhere out there but I couldn't see it. Throughout the process Reuben asks me if I had any nibbles, but not knowing what it felt through the rod I had no clue. He tried to show me by pulling on the line, which kind of helped and I think I may have felt it at one point, but I didn't catch anything. I just stood there, concentrating, feeling the vibrations of the rod as I would pull the line in bit by bit. With the Holy Ghost it's hard for one person to teach another exactly what it feels like. With every person it's kind of a different feeling. There is peace and calm and a warmth and understanding, but the actual feeling itself is hard to explain. Just like Reuben explaining to me what a nibble was.
Now I haven't learnt how to cast out just yet, but casting out is a lot like opening yourself up to the Spirit. Putting yourself in places or situations in which you can find the Spirit. The Spirit in this fishing scenario is the fish. Now fish like to swim in certain areas, usually the more deeper waters, around rocks or jetty's etc which is like how the Holy Ghost is stronger when you are in a place away from danger and temptation.
Now I am not a genius when it comes to the Spirit. I consider myself still very new about it. There are some times when I pray and I can really feel it and really know that it is the Spirit talking to me, but it's generally only when I ask of it. I'm not so sure what it is like to be prompted by it out of the blue. I can't hear its small whisperings to guide me and I know that is something that is necessary for a mission. Just like fishing I need to cast out my line, trust in the feel of the rod and keep trying even when I keep pulling in nothing.
The basic breakdown of my analogy:
Fish - Holy Ghost
Rod - Method of seeking the Holy Ghost i.e prayer, fasting, reading scriptures and talks etc
Bait and Hook - Your spiritual desire and worthiness
Casting - Putting yourself in places to feel the Spirit i.e church, home, church activities
After my little epiphany is when Reuben pulled in our one and only catch of that evening. It was an Australian salmon which apparently is not even related to salmon at all but closer related to a trout...go figure! I guess it is kind of ironic how he caught the fish, being a return missionary he must know the Spirit better than me, but I'm sure that is all because of his own experiences. In either case I'm excited by the idea of going fishing again and trying pull in my own fish. If I do get one before my mission I'll see it as a sign that I will surely get many experiences of being guided by the Spirit. I doubt I need the fish as a sign, but it would be quite poetic.
Here is a picture of me with the fish to prove that I'm brave enough to hold one. I was pretty surprised by the texture of it and so happy it didn't jump around.
I only have two months left so I plan on having as many adventures as I can before I leave. I have a lot of things that I need to get done so I really need to be busy at the moment. I'll do my best to add a few more blogs as time passes.
I'm so grateful for the opportunity to go and serve the Lord in New Zealand and can't wait to get there. I know that as my service begins I will grow an understanding of the Holy Ghost as big as that fish I'm holding. Until then I'll continue to study and keep casting that line out and concentrating for that little tug to guide me. I leave this things with you in the name of Jesus Christ, amen.
~ Sis. H. Phillips
Anyway, we went fishing on this really pretty beach at night. It's near the Gap and I think it was called Cove Bay or Beach or...something. It's on the back of these amazing properties, the water was crystal clear and they have a view of the city and a partial view of the Harbour Bridge. It was overcast but still very pretty.
As I was there fishing and looking out over the water I realised that fishing is a lot like the Holy Ghost and here is how I worked it out. I was standing in the water, not very deep and my line was somewhere out there but I couldn't see it. Throughout the process Reuben asks me if I had any nibbles, but not knowing what it felt through the rod I had no clue. He tried to show me by pulling on the line, which kind of helped and I think I may have felt it at one point, but I didn't catch anything. I just stood there, concentrating, feeling the vibrations of the rod as I would pull the line in bit by bit. With the Holy Ghost it's hard for one person to teach another exactly what it feels like. With every person it's kind of a different feeling. There is peace and calm and a warmth and understanding, but the actual feeling itself is hard to explain. Just like Reuben explaining to me what a nibble was.
Now I haven't learnt how to cast out just yet, but casting out is a lot like opening yourself up to the Spirit. Putting yourself in places or situations in which you can find the Spirit. The Spirit in this fishing scenario is the fish. Now fish like to swim in certain areas, usually the more deeper waters, around rocks or jetty's etc which is like how the Holy Ghost is stronger when you are in a place away from danger and temptation.
Now I am not a genius when it comes to the Spirit. I consider myself still very new about it. There are some times when I pray and I can really feel it and really know that it is the Spirit talking to me, but it's generally only when I ask of it. I'm not so sure what it is like to be prompted by it out of the blue. I can't hear its small whisperings to guide me and I know that is something that is necessary for a mission. Just like fishing I need to cast out my line, trust in the feel of the rod and keep trying even when I keep pulling in nothing.
The basic breakdown of my analogy:
Fish - Holy Ghost
Rod - Method of seeking the Holy Ghost i.e prayer, fasting, reading scriptures and talks etc
Bait and Hook - Your spiritual desire and worthiness
Casting - Putting yourself in places to feel the Spirit i.e church, home, church activities
After my little epiphany is when Reuben pulled in our one and only catch of that evening. It was an Australian salmon which apparently is not even related to salmon at all but closer related to a trout...go figure! I guess it is kind of ironic how he caught the fish, being a return missionary he must know the Spirit better than me, but I'm sure that is all because of his own experiences. In either case I'm excited by the idea of going fishing again and trying pull in my own fish. If I do get one before my mission I'll see it as a sign that I will surely get many experiences of being guided by the Spirit. I doubt I need the fish as a sign, but it would be quite poetic.
Here is a picture of me with the fish to prove that I'm brave enough to hold one. I was pretty surprised by the texture of it and so happy it didn't jump around.
I only have two months left so I plan on having as many adventures as I can before I leave. I have a lot of things that I need to get done so I really need to be busy at the moment. I'll do my best to add a few more blogs as time passes.
I'm so grateful for the opportunity to go and serve the Lord in New Zealand and can't wait to get there. I know that as my service begins I will grow an understanding of the Holy Ghost as big as that fish I'm holding. Until then I'll continue to study and keep casting that line out and concentrating for that little tug to guide me. I leave this things with you in the name of Jesus Christ, amen.
~ Sis. H. Phillips
Wednesday, May 2, 2012
The call has arrived!
It's been a while again and I have no excuse. There were at least three times where I could have posted something up but I didn't because I didn't know what to write. I didn't really feel inspired to share anything so I didn't, which is a shame because I could have tried harder.
In any case I'm back to the routine of getting up at 6am to pray and read my scriptures. It really is the best time of the day to do it because everything is extremely quiet and you can really concentrate on what you are doing. I've been really enjoying my studying. I've been reading the Book Of Mormon ahead of my class because I really want to learn about the great people in it and figure out their stories so I can note them down for future reference on my mission. It is so remarkable that all of them are so humble and righteous and you can really see their personalities by the way they write. My Preach My Gospel is still pretty empty though so I have to work on that.
Mission Preparation class has been really good. All of the return missionaries are great teachers. We do a lot of role plays and I love hearing about their experiences. I prepared and taught a lesson with my friend Jenna as my companion and we really did a good job. It felt pretty good to only have a little preparation time but because of our simple notes we were able to really teach the lesson with the help of the Spirit rather than just reading.
Now onto my mission call. About a week after my meeting with bishop I had my meeting with the Stake President. The interview was very quick and similar to the Bishops, which was good and I was happily not intimidated by President Simpson because he has this aura of sternness which is a big facade. After that the Stake President sent my paperwork off to New Zealand for the Area Presidency to look at, which was then transferred over to Utah for the Apostles and then the Prophet to agree on my destination. Just on five weeks later (yesterday) I got the express post letter.
The miraculous thing was the way it got to my doorstep. Friday last week was horrible. I thought it had come because Bishop told me two weeks before at conference that it had been decided and the call letter sent. So I was really disappointed and focused completely on the scriptures and read conference talks to occupy my time. Then yesterday in the middle of the day there was a knock at the door. It was a man of pacific islander background and he was holding two damaged envelopes. One was small, a bill for my mother and the other was my white and yellow, large Express Post envelope. When I saw it I was stunned. He told me that he had found it on the road and thought he should deliver it. I thanked him profusely telling him that I had been waiting for this for quite a while and he said it was alright and he left. I looked at the envelop. There was a tyre mark in the top corner and all the outside was covered with indentations of gravel from the road. Needless to say a car had run over it and possible some people had walked over it. It must have fallen out of the Australia Post bike.
I took it upstairs and showed it to Mum and Natalie. Mum said I should open it and I really felt like I wanted to, but I decided to stick to my plan. I got everything ready, bought a cake, and got Uncle David and his family around for the opening. Once everyone was settled in the lounge room I started opening it mid conversations. The letter and booklet were slightly damaged with gravel marks all over it. My friend Nancy said when she saw the letter she saw her location right away because it was so obvious on the page. I wanted it to be a surprise so I started from the beginning and read it. I stopped reading right after the location. I'm going to the New Zealand, Auckland Mission.
I had not really thought about New Zealand at all. I knew Jenna's good friend Josh was going in July but even with his announcement I never thought I would be going there. Immediately there was a little disappointment I wasn't going to Japan and Europe, but as I thought about it more I was excited. The Lord obviously needs me there for a reason. Although I may not have family there or ancestors from the country, it is obvious that there is someone there I need to talk to. It is a beautiful country, my only problem is that I'm going to spend two winters there and I am very bad with the cold. I'm also excited to meet the people because I've heard they are very spiritual.
I leave on my little brother Max's 5th birthday, the 5th of July, 2012. Two months and there is still so much for me to do. I can't wait to hear a response from my friend Sister Nancy Alfaro who is now in her mission in Texas.
I love the gospel and can't wait to start my new journey in New Zealand.
~ Sister H. Phillips
In any case I'm back to the routine of getting up at 6am to pray and read my scriptures. It really is the best time of the day to do it because everything is extremely quiet and you can really concentrate on what you are doing. I've been really enjoying my studying. I've been reading the Book Of Mormon ahead of my class because I really want to learn about the great people in it and figure out their stories so I can note them down for future reference on my mission. It is so remarkable that all of them are so humble and righteous and you can really see their personalities by the way they write. My Preach My Gospel is still pretty empty though so I have to work on that.
Mission Preparation class has been really good. All of the return missionaries are great teachers. We do a lot of role plays and I love hearing about their experiences. I prepared and taught a lesson with my friend Jenna as my companion and we really did a good job. It felt pretty good to only have a little preparation time but because of our simple notes we were able to really teach the lesson with the help of the Spirit rather than just reading.
Now onto my mission call. About a week after my meeting with bishop I had my meeting with the Stake President. The interview was very quick and similar to the Bishops, which was good and I was happily not intimidated by President Simpson because he has this aura of sternness which is a big facade. After that the Stake President sent my paperwork off to New Zealand for the Area Presidency to look at, which was then transferred over to Utah for the Apostles and then the Prophet to agree on my destination. Just on five weeks later (yesterday) I got the express post letter.
The miraculous thing was the way it got to my doorstep. Friday last week was horrible. I thought it had come because Bishop told me two weeks before at conference that it had been decided and the call letter sent. So I was really disappointed and focused completely on the scriptures and read conference talks to occupy my time. Then yesterday in the middle of the day there was a knock at the door. It was a man of pacific islander background and he was holding two damaged envelopes. One was small, a bill for my mother and the other was my white and yellow, large Express Post envelope. When I saw it I was stunned. He told me that he had found it on the road and thought he should deliver it. I thanked him profusely telling him that I had been waiting for this for quite a while and he said it was alright and he left. I looked at the envelop. There was a tyre mark in the top corner and all the outside was covered with indentations of gravel from the road. Needless to say a car had run over it and possible some people had walked over it. It must have fallen out of the Australia Post bike.
I took it upstairs and showed it to Mum and Natalie. Mum said I should open it and I really felt like I wanted to, but I decided to stick to my plan. I got everything ready, bought a cake, and got Uncle David and his family around for the opening. Once everyone was settled in the lounge room I started opening it mid conversations. The letter and booklet were slightly damaged with gravel marks all over it. My friend Nancy said when she saw the letter she saw her location right away because it was so obvious on the page. I wanted it to be a surprise so I started from the beginning and read it. I stopped reading right after the location. I'm going to the New Zealand, Auckland Mission.
I had not really thought about New Zealand at all. I knew Jenna's good friend Josh was going in July but even with his announcement I never thought I would be going there. Immediately there was a little disappointment I wasn't going to Japan and Europe, but as I thought about it more I was excited. The Lord obviously needs me there for a reason. Although I may not have family there or ancestors from the country, it is obvious that there is someone there I need to talk to. It is a beautiful country, my only problem is that I'm going to spend two winters there and I am very bad with the cold. I'm also excited to meet the people because I've heard they are very spiritual.
I leave on my little brother Max's 5th birthday, the 5th of July, 2012. Two months and there is still so much for me to do. I can't wait to hear a response from my friend Sister Nancy Alfaro who is now in her mission in Texas.
I love the gospel and can't wait to start my new journey in New Zealand.
~ Sister H. Phillips
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